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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
September 17, 2011
Anthropomorphism for Beginners by =TwilightPoetess is an absolutely charming way to approach an endearing subject.
Literature Text
I found Grandma on the street today
reborn as a rock.
I didn't recognize her at first
without her turquoise-rim glasses
or her always-falling-out-in-public teeth;
she was standing in the gutter on her bald,
lopsided head.
Mom tells me Grandma's gone to nag God into slaughtering spiders
and taking the farts out of vegetables,
but if you squint your eyes and tilt your head,
you can see Grandma's crooked nose--
the one that she broke
playing badminton last year--
and the way her eyes crinkle at the corners
when she talks about cheating
to beat me at checkers.
And it's just like Grandma to come back as a rock;
Mom's always called her a stubborn old crook,
and it looks like Grandma's holding a bag of stolen money
under her billowing Hippie-Days shirt sleeves
if you turn her just slightly to the right.
I think I'm gonna keep her in my bedroom.
Just in case.
reborn as a rock.
I didn't recognize her at first
without her turquoise-rim glasses
or her always-falling-out-in-public teeth;
she was standing in the gutter on her bald,
lopsided head.
Mom tells me Grandma's gone to nag God into slaughtering spiders
and taking the farts out of vegetables,
but if you squint your eyes and tilt your head,
you can see Grandma's crooked nose--
the one that she broke
playing badminton last year--
and the way her eyes crinkle at the corners
when she talks about cheating
to beat me at checkers.
And it's just like Grandma to come back as a rock;
Mom's always called her a stubborn old crook,
and it looks like Grandma's holding a bag of stolen money
under her billowing Hippie-Days shirt sleeves
if you turn her just slightly to the right.
I think I'm gonna keep her in my bedroom.
Just in case.
Literature
Writing a Haiku
Writing a haiku;
Running out of syllables
is a pain in the
Literature
I asked Julio
I asked Julio
where he wanted to die
and he smiled a smile that spoke
of his heritage (how he looked so old
and wise at fourteen,
I’ll never know.)
And he said.
“I would like it very much
if I died in Oregon, because”
[he always said because
‘cause he was taught
proper English unlike
us Americans]
“how many people
get to die in Oregon?”
I could only ask how many,
to which his answer was
“Not nearly enough.
Not nearly enough.”
Literature
The Flamingo Poem
I was twelve when she was ten.
Our neighborhood had neither curb nor pavement;
every strip of grass was our sidewalk.
Trees doubled as bike stands,
and pine cones as hair brushes.
Chain-linked fences were suggestions to work around,
and trellises for wild honeysuckle vines.
Backyards spontaneously erupted into blackberry patches
leading to hunting expeditions ending with empty buckets
but purple chins and fingertips.
A muddy hundred yards of concrete culvert
delivered us to our hidden place
where fairies and fireflies
were equally real and equally magical.
Mason jars once filled with tadpoles hold rainwater sun tea,
the hostage
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For 
's June Poetry Prompt:
Between 5-15 lines, write a poem fitting the title 'Anthropomorphisation for Beginners'.
This is 24 lines, but SHHHHH! Don't tell anyone.
***EDIT***
My first DD!
Thank you SO much 
and 
!
Critique Questions:
1. Did I use anthropomorphism correctly here? It says that attributing human characteristics to material objects is one definition of the word...what do you guys think? Should I do different characteristics for the Grandma rock?
2. What do you think of this piece in general? Does it work? Does it not?
June 2011
's June Poetry Prompt:Between 5-15 lines, write a poem fitting the title 'Anthropomorphisation for Beginners'.
This is 24 lines, but SHHHHH! Don't tell anyone.
***EDIT***
My first DD!
Thank you SO much and !Critique Questions:
1. Did I use anthropomorphism correctly here? It says that attributing human characteristics to material objects is one definition of the word...what do you guys think? Should I do different characteristics for the Grandma rock?
2. What do you think of this piece in general? Does it work? Does it not?
June 2011
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Comments228
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Overall
Vision
Originality Technique ImpactI like the idea behind this, and I reckon you fit with the prompt idea very well, giving the rock characteristics of a human. I get the feeling that the narrator is a rather young-ish child, between 9 and 12 years old, as around that age they'd be quite happy to keep a pet rock in their room. Plus in the stanza 'mom tells me...', the fact that that's the way her mother decided to explain to the narrator about what happened to grandma, it just makes me see this as the point of view of a child. Kids seem more likely to find a way of escaping from the loss of a loved one in such a way.
I love the way you've described the rock, changing the features to suit the angle and lighting of the rock. 'the way her eyes twinkle' I like this line, it really encourages the reader (namely me) to look deeper into the rock, as I suppose at a glance, twinkling eyes would be hard to see in a rock. Plus, your descriptions really clue into the personality of this grandma.
The only thing I can say about technique is mostly good, although some things I'm getting picky about is the grammar. 'And it's just like grandma' not the best there, unless you're trying to make it flow like spontaneous speech? Or her thoughts, instead of a diary entry. Other than that, it's all good.
I wonder, maybe you could have gone deeper on this, if it wasn't restricted to 15 (*ahem* 19) lines, maybe clued into the granny a bit more.
Either way, this is a good poem. and I love how it ends. Sorry if this was a little rubbish, it's my first time using the crit function. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Big Grin)"/>