:Constructive Criticism:

a.
you smeared lipstick on the kitchen floor
the day you packed your bags,
a goodbye written in cold cherry
signed by your nimble hands.

i remember looking at empty cupboards
trying to find a trace of you...
but there was nothing left.

a strand of bleach-blonde hair stuck in the sheets
and thumbtacks in frozen-plaster walls
were all you forgot to take along.


b.
every night that week,
you starred within my dreams,
dead eyes the shade of sapphire
twinkling beneath the surface of my guilty resolve.

i wonder if i loved you enough
to keep you satisfied,
but the angry crack across the mirror
screams all the things you never could.

i always woke up suddenly,
face pinched into a grimace,
mouth bitter with remorse.

you were laughing,
wrapped up in someone else's arms.

the image hurt.


c.
for months,
i clung to every memory
as if i was bound to lose my way.

the dust on empty clothes hangers
reminded me i had a lot to learn.

and i kept your voice upon the answering machine
even though you never called.

i'd play it at high volume
when the nights were long and sleep was out of reach,
feeling the phantoms of your touches
soothing me into a fitful sleep alone.


d.
you pillowcase still reeks of you
though it's been almost a year.

she wears the same perfume
and shares your name.

you both have a nasty habit
of chewing on your nails when you get bored;
the way she tucks her hair
behind her pierced right ear
always sends a pang of ache through my numbed heart.

and i realize it isn't fair
to keep holding on to you,
but she doesn't know that when i whisper
"iloveyou" against her neck,
the words are not for her.

and i should let you go...
but when she's curled up next to me,
i still only dream of you.