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Submitted on
August 6, 2013
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Autumn's diary
dances in the breeze--
pages ripped from barren branches.

My father's father's blood
was the same color, once--
an angry, untamed flame.

My own blood is an oil-spill
chasing the metal of my joints--
each move creaks.
:iconglory-be-project: Day HAPPY ALMOST 13th BIRTHDAY DA!

:iconmulthaiku:--A string of scifaiku just for you! >.>

The ABSOLUTELY wonderful `FuzzyHoser took me up on my Project Crazy Wonderful and commissioned me to listen to this song ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9Ofyx… ) and write something inspired by it. THIS is what happened.

I hope she likes it!

August 6th, 2013
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:iconinvaderrosirken:
InvaderRosIrken Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is well written. Although, I'm a bit confused on what the poem is trying to make me feel. Maybe if you included more about a certain situation it would help the reader to  realate and understand the poem more. I don't know if I'm just missing the point, or of I'm just not thinking deep enough, but I really don't understand it. ^^; you have great writing skills though, and you're great at writing poems. 
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. This was actually written for a commission/prompt--the song linked in the artists' comments was what she wanted me to listen to and write as inspired, which is why this might be a little difficult to understand.  Also, scifaiku (science fiction haiku) is meant to be a bit vague or leaves readers thinking--but I'll consider your confusion and keep it in mind for revisions. :heart:
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:iconinvaderrosirken:
InvaderRosIrken Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. So, it's kind of a "leave it up to your interpretation" type poems that male you think. :heart: you are very talented 
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, that's it exactly! 

:blush: Thank you.
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:iconinvaderrosirken:
InvaderRosIrken Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're most welcome.
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
absolutely strikingggg.
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"My own blood is an oil-spill
chasing the metal of my joints"

Fantastic.
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconheartglompplz: Thank you!
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing job, Beth. <3
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