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Twelve months ago, we swapped rumors about
the hottest bad boys; counted the number of freckles Tanya,
the Queen Bee of Beverly High, didn't cover with  her polka-dot skirt;
and discovered our favorite song on a blog we both wished
we owned.  "What do you think we'll be doing this time next year?"
I asked over peanut butter cookies from a bag
and a commercial break between late night movies.  
You giggled, pondering, and said, "Hanging out in our dorm room.
You'll be snuggled up to the flavor of the month--
a basketball player, no doubt, or a starving artist--
and I'll be green with jealousy, like always."  
When Dirty Dancing came back on, we rocked along,
shag carpet burning streaks across bare feet.

This morning, listening to my roommate sing with the radio--
some country ballad you'd never approve of--
I remember your laugh and the dark, curling fingers of hair
at the nape of your neck as you shimmied out my bedroom window
at almost three AM.  I'm thinking about dreams--
yours and mine, of college and big cities and breaking into our own--
and plaiting black feathers through my braid, wondering if you realized
how much you were risking, how much you were leaving behind
...and how much I'd miss you still.
:iconglory-be-project:

:iconnapowrimo: -- Day 22

I... don't even know where this came from. :shrug:

BUT this is for BlueiceAlice, who (a LONG time ago) requested I write a poem about "feathers and peanut butter cookies."  I am so sorry for the delay!

April 22nd, 2014
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It can be hard to pull of internal monologue. I like this a lot. :)
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :heart: I'm glad it works for this piece.
Reply
:iconxxi-feel-infinitexx:
xXI-Feel-InfiniteXx Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I think this is a really poignant piece for a lot of people - particularly those heading off to uni. I especially like the part about how many freckles Tanya didn't cover up, it's an interesting way to phrase it and conveys the idea of wearing something revealing but remains an unusual image. (I hope that makes sense, I found that hard to phrase right!)
Basically, your descriptions here are really interesting - which made me really read each line because nothing was too typical and I hadn't seen the phrases before. :love:
Also I don't know if you intended it but I thought when she was braiding her hair at the end it seemed quite sad - like their futures were once intertwined together but now she was on her own...I don't know, but that line probably hit me the most :) :heart:
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My goodness, thank you for such a well-thought out and wonderful comment! I really appreciate your kind words, and am SO glad that this touched you so deeply.

And YES--that's what I was going for exactly with the braid. :iconheartglompplz: Thank you for reading--I hope you have a great day!
Reply
:iconxxi-feel-infinitexx:
xXI-Feel-InfiniteXx Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
And thank you for writing your lovely poem in the first place! :heart:
Reply
:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
one of your best pieces. ever. please write more like this. lovelovelovelovelove
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, honey! I've been branching out a bit more with my writing lately, so I'm sure more like this will spring up! :heart:
Reply
:iconcrystal-magic13:
Crystal-Magic13 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
She ran away? How sad.
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:nod: Yes, sad indeed! Thank you for reading, honey. :heart:
Reply
:iconcrystal-magic13:
Crystal-Magic13 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I really liked it. :) Thanks for writing!
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconheartglompplz:
Reply
:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, this is so lovely! :D It's so nostalgic feeling. I like it a lot.
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconheartglompplz: Thank you!
Reply
:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:glomp: You're welcome!
Reply
:iconm-alicem:
m-AliceM Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
People usually praise timeless poetry, but I find feelings of a particular time condensed in words are just as special. There's a delicate, familiar world in these lines, thank you!
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
And thank YOU for reading and commenting! I appreciate it!
Reply
:iconmattiello:
Mattiello Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Professional Writer
Amazing!
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconheartglompplz: Thank you!
Reply
:iconmattiello:
Mattiello Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Professional Writer
You're quite welcome. :glomp:
Reply
:iconpeter-the-knotter:
Peter-The-Knotter Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
sniff...
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You okay? 
Reply
:iconpeter-the-knotter:
Peter-The-Knotter Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
sure! just feeling the words on several levels... it's all good! don't worry! your poetry contributes to me having a really good day!  Understood?   :) Peter.
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay, good--I'm glad you're good!

And :blush: thank you! 
Reply
:iconpeter-the-knotter:
Peter-The-Knotter Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
yr most welcome... going out now into the sunlight and about 23 missions to do! ;) typical day..... :) Later!
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your day is just beginning, MINE is coming to a close (it's almost midnight here). :lmao:
Reply
:iconpeter-the-knotter:
Peter-The-Knotter Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
good morning!.... ;) :hug:
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww--hi! :huggle:
Reply
:iconstargirl2791:
stargirl2791 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i really like the imagery! i could see, almost even smell the dorm room and the peanut butter.  the poem feels very appropriate for this time of year, when the school year is winding down and nostalgia kicks in and spring fever kicks in (all of which seems to have its own scent too).

me likey! :D

one thing i'd say... the lines feel a bit off as far as where they start and end. this could just be me being picky and weird due to sleep deprivation but i personally tend not to hit return until the line feels complete, no matter how short or long it is. just a thought, likely fueled by a delirious brain.
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'd agree with your critique on the lines, and have gone through and tidied them up a little bit. I was playing around with word placement but I think it reads much better the new way. 

And thank you so much for the comment and feedback! I really appreciate it! :heart:
Reply
:iconstargirl2791:
stargirl2791 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
oooooooo yes i like the new version!

:)
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome! :heart:
Reply
:iconthebaresheet:
TheBareSheet Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Student General Artist
this is beautiful~
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconheartglompplz: Thank you!
Reply
:iconthebaresheet:
TheBareSheet Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Student General Artist
np~
Reply
:iconsoulspoken:
soulspoken Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Professional Writer
Very reminiscent and very poignant. This is like every kid's experience in thinking back on something long gone. Kind of sad in a way.... But I do this kind of thing all the time. I love it!
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart: Thank you for your feedback, hon--you are quickly becoming one of my favorite names to see in my comments! I'm glad you enjoyed the read! 
Reply
:iconsoulspoken:
soulspoken Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Professional Writer
:blush: Well.... that just makes me feel so special! You are most welcome! :hug:
Reply
:iconladyshadowrage:
ladyshadowrage Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Professional Writer
This piece brings back memories of perfect days spent with the one I thought was so perfect at the time. And every scene that flashes through my mind is of a different 'perfect' guy. While reading this I was reminiscing with a smile, I didn't know that I had moved on completely from that "ONE" guy. Funny I say that 'ONE' guy and I just know that most girls will understand what I mean. Anyways I'm getting off topic here (habit of mine) I really enjoy your writing, it's refreshing and allows me skip down memory lane without the usual clench of the heart. Reading your work is like slipping into a hot tub after a stressful day. :love:
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconheartglompplz: My goodness, thank you so much for such a wonderful comment! I'm glad that this piece spoke to you!
Reply
:iconladyshadowrage:
ladyshadowrage Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Professional Writer
you're most welcome, I call it how I see it. And I only ever comment when a piece grabs me :nod:
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's how I am, as well. :heart: Thank you again.
Reply
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